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dyin

by Nicholas Rye

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1.
we go swimmin in the summertime when the weather is warm and the women is fine you can find us out by the rivers and lakes everybody be singing and half of us be naked we'll carry on and on drink all night and lose our voices, learn each others songs we'll find the right in the wrong and we'll never see another sad day we cant get away from when the leaves fall off the trees turn to red and orange where they used to be green you can find us round a holiday fire spikin the coffee, eatin pumpkin pie we'll sing thanksgiving songs about all the things we used to know and the places that they came from if you know nothing lasts too long youll never see another dark day you cant paint some color on if were lucky we might see some snow see our summer friends carol in the cold we can count it down til the old year dies while we all hold hands and sing for auld lang zine for auld lang zine its hard to explain but some things take a little bit of time and for the rest of my life ill take a cup of kindness yet from auld lang zine in the spring when the mocking bird sings ill pretend its a new song and i care what it means for theres one thing that i know whether we do or we dont grow old is that the years they go by a lot faster than the ones that came before the years go by a lot faster than the ones before the years go by and now its my time to go
2.
Mama 02:49
mama i know i told you that id be good we both know i said id be lots of things that i never could you know i never meant to break no thing by lyin i just thought that i might never run out of time so now im markin every minute down til the day i die and before i go what i need you to know is that i loved ya now were dancing like the first flame in a fire we burn amber and ember all through the night i never was too scared to leave my mind behind from what i could take away you think i lost it all the time and so ill write us a catchy chorus to sing to hell bc i learned you cant get nowhere without help so when i make it down there i wont sing by myself and before i do what i need from you is... there aint nothin out there worth findin if you cant go out and find it for yourself may burn some bridges wakin up out on park benches but maybe someone on the other side will have a story to tell when we all go to hell
3.
Tryin 04:33
my mind wakes me up early in the morning but my body keeps me down in bed i picture my masterpiece upon the ceiling and keep the words to my radio hits in me head know there aint nothin ever quite as good as you could imagine it could be see me im a failure in a simpler state of mind ive got nothin to show for myself or any of my time but ive been tryin my best and if i lyin to myself i dont do it for fun i do it because im to scared to quit just yet i think i used to be the man that used to think that he could be the man of your dreams but now you wake in the middle of the night youre pouring sweat youre shakin and youre cryin and im terrified that i might be
4.
you may be unhappy but you aint hopeless you may be driven, just a little unfocused maybe today is the day you say youre gonna turn it all around maybe youll answer a couple of phone calls get off the couch and replace some light bulbs tell everyone that you talk to youre seein things in a different light someday you might when your mama says youre hard headed what do you do but give her part credit youre as stubborn as a mexican mule in the midday sun like youve been overworked and under appreciated and aint never gonna learn a thing from anyone what have we done you make a list of things to do though you know youve already done em is it crossing through the words somehow makes you feel productive you could read more books, make a name for yourself collect the data and crunch the numbers find more time for the folks that you love, try and be better and try to be nicer just because practice patience slangin dranks in dallas/austin and hunger on the road find humility taking other peoples problems in as your own get off a gas station graveyard shift 100 miles north of amarillo and youll see the sun keeps comin up and it dont matter what you think that you know you abuse yourself physically tryin to free yourself up a bit mentally but then you see that in the mornin time that youve got more fuckin questions then youve got answers so you collect your thoughts and then you put it all on paper just to toss it aside and then find it a few years later and by the time you pull out them old notes that you wrote you see that the handwritin hadnt really had to change much what do you think youre tryin to say with such
5.
Yesterday 03:07
yesterday i killed my brother bc we cant ever seem to agree i buried him under the rubble in the place where my heart used to be is it a sin to murder for your country whats the use the bible says im unclean but the president assures me that god is on our side just this mornin i called my mother she said boy we sure are proud of you proud of what i had to wonder bc this killin gives me no sense of pride just this evenin i ran for cover bc i cant stand to see more people die society calls me a coward youre goddamn right i am petrified
6.
he was born on a monday afternoon in late july with his eyes wide open and a warm light glowin in the corner how could he cry for he saw papa take his mamas hand and hold it tight somewhere he can still hear him say i must be the luckiest man alive by the time that baby boy had grown to be a half pint of a man hed learned all him manners well and the prayers had come second hand hed walk in thought a lot and talk with all the folks on sundays street and on his 18 birthday in the gutter find the missin numbers to the lottery in the light of the day or the darkness of the night where the good luck goes bad luck does too for the luckiest man alive he went to tell his pop and sister how there troubles had all been fixed how theyd never have to worry, need, or exhaust themselves again thow he hope had come back through and his kids would be alright but i guess you never know when you will and when you wont make it through the night id like to think that luck is just product of place and time and id like to think that well all be together when we die id like to think somehow, someway, someday, that everything could be alright for me and the luckiest man alive/ i guess well have to wait and see he was born on a monday and on a monday he would die a young man buried in an old cemetery dead leaves on either side from the pews pushed to the alter to the lawn chairs by the street theres ten thousand dollars cash strapped to the bottom of every seat see theres a light in the darkness and a darkness in the light where the good luck goes bad luck does too for the luckiest man alive
7.
i woke alone and half drunk again dont know if i still have any friesnds but i proceed to wake up like its what i want cant recall the places ive been i cant quite tell what kind of shape im in and if i could you think youd really want to know i dont think i wanna be me anymore i see the things that i do to myself and have to hear about the ones i do to everyone else and im sorry if sometimes i seem insane medicate my need for more from the moment i wake up until i hit the floor and i dont know if its right but thats the way that it goes i dont think i wanna be me anymore still cant weigh my wrong from right i bit a hole im my tongue so i could speak my mind and i guess i could be sorry for that too how come we only hurt the ones that we say we need to love and theyre the only one that could hurt us too tell me how much fuckin sense that makes to you i woke alone piss drunk again may have lost the last of my friends but i proceed to wake up like its what i want whats the price to pay for your sins when you stay in the state i stay in i think i might but i dont really want to know i dont think i wanna be me anymore
8.
if you meet him youll see hes a hand full get to know him and you will curse his name but hell be there when the cursing is over or when you looking for a person to blame he dont tell you what you want but what you need to hear god can bless him but oft i damn him for that see he may help drown sorrows tell you about all them tomorrows but hed pick a fight with you just to see you mad he sings there aint no use in talking bout it aint no use in fallin out of shape when it dont turn out your way you could lighten up the load let it slide right off your shoulders or find a bottle and try to hide while youre seachin for the signs and you keep on tellin time its gonna be okay honestys a policy hed die by and may be loyal to a fault so dont cry to him askin what to do with your wounds bc hell laugh at you and pass you the salt but later on down the line when youve moved on and started anew hes gonna look up that young girl that broke your heart hes gonna walk down the drive in the middle of the night and pour sugar in the gas tank of that ladies car when youre at the end of your rope and youre hangin by a thread just spendin all your livin time just wishin you were dead go meet your maker or maybe instead you could sing along to the words that mr. saltnsugar said
9.
Lonnies Song 04:09
everything has changed aint it awful how nothin stay the same the color fades no matter how thick you cake on the paint i keep my head down in my hometown with the fear of bein seen for what i really am and seein what the folks i used to know have become what have i become the rain came down and i stared to the sky and i realized that all my friends are gettin married now or theyre dyin and im still tryin to get out from in between the mess you see in front of you and the man you think that im supposed to be who am i supposed to be what a wicked world the way it winds and weaves the road takin me to places in my head i never said i wanted to go im havin trouble friend and im wishin you were near but its okay i can keep it together i know you just couldnt be here the whole state went under water and i was baptized from the narcissist i once was but i need attention more than ever now that im losin my self and the ones i love but that the cross i carry and it may bury me with the weight of trying hard not to care but still needin all of yall to know name what is my name

about

this a collection of songs i have written that have no home. except for yesterday. this album pairs nicely with livin:
smithclayton.bandcamp.com

credits

released October 4, 2016

rye boys
lone stars
cigarettes

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Nicholas Rye Austin, Texas

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